L'Arc I: Niji
by Ekai Ungson
Summary: When you get to the end of a rainbow you don't find a pot of gold. You find answers. First in the L'Arc~en~Ciel series. An ExT.


L'arc~en~Ciel I:  
"Niji"  
by Ekai Ungson  
  
The L'Arc~en~Ciel series: A series of vignette-ish EriolxTomoyos featuring titles of L'Arc songs. Fluffy. You have been warned.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Characters expressed herein are property of Card Captor Sakura by CLAMP.  
  
DISCLAIMER2: The song "Niji" is property of L'Arc~en~Ciel and their recording companies.  
  
Dedicated to Candy who loves Laruku about as much as I love CCS. ^-^  
  
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"Yes, I am actually all right. Just a head cold," she explained into the phone. She smiled. "Yes. Yes. I won't move from this bed. I won't move at all." She giggled. "I'm joking. Yes, please. Bring the homework for me. Arigatou. And don't go out in the rain without an umbrella like last time. And do stop worrying, Eriol."  
  
"Stop worrying?" he repeated. "You're kidding me. You're stuck in bed with a terrible disease--"  
  
"A head cold does not necessarily equate to a terrible disease, koishii."  
  
"Do you realize, love," he began. "How much you interrupt me?"  
  
"Actually, I do," she replied. "Now get off Sakura-chan's cellphone and get to Math class."  
  
"I love you, Tomoyo."  
  
"...I love you."  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
It's true.  
  
I love him. It's truth. I love him in his most glorious states and I love him in his most forsaken. I love him in his happiness and I love him in his sorrow. You can very well say that I love all of him.  
  
But I sometimes wonder if he loves me.  
  
He, being wise in the ways of the world; he having traveled time, age, and space; he having known love-- iie, MANY loves, before he came to me; and I wonder if he longs for the others when he holds me in his arms.  
  
I love him in eternal doubt, and in a cycle of sorrow, because I do not know what is in his heart, no matter how hard I try to simplify his complexity.  
  
And so what I do not know I compensate for.  
  
I give him all of me to do with as he wishes. I kiss him with fever, hold him with heart. More, I say, more than anything any of his other Muses have given him before. More than Cassia, more than Andromeda, more that Sappho, more than Madoushi, and farther, farther more that the Kaho he held once.  
  
The Kaho I fear he still holds.  
  
His goddess I fear he cannot let go of.  
  
And so I say hold me, my love, in magic and mystery, against the darkness, beyond the light.  
  
Hold me, my love, in the times I fear that everything around me is falling apart.   
  
Hold me, my love, protect me against my weaknesses, my fear, my doubt, my pain. Do not let me fall into the abyss of rejection.  
  
Hold me, my love, and assure me that all is right in my world, in our world.  
  
Hold me, my love, and give in when I cast my spells, those I cast to keep the others away.  
  
Hold me, my love, keep my fears at bay when you say you'll stay.  
  
Love me, my Eriol, and when you do, love me, and me alone.  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
"Eriol-san is here, ojou-sama."  
  
She looked up and smiled. "Please let him in."  
  
He went in, impish smile in place. "I bring homework and flowers."  
  
Her smile widened. "Blue roses," she said, turning to him. "I'll bet they weren't initially blue."  
  
"They were white, but I gave them a little color change," he replied.  
  
She looked into his eyes. "Thank you."  
  
He grinned. "How do you feel?"  
  
"Better."  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
"Eriol," she began later.  
  
He turned to her, waiting.  
  
She looked up at him.  
  
"Do you love me?"  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
I can give you everything.  
  
I can give you anything you wish for, anything you want. I can give you materiality, I can give you answers. I can give you everything within my reach.   
  
It was you who came into my world and lent light to my stark darkness. You smiled, and the world lit up.  
  
You made me see things in a view so different from what I'm used to. I used to see in cruelty, in death, in evil.  
  
When you came and touched me, I was no longer blind.  
  
For this, I will sacrifice everything to give you anything.  
  
But what you ask from me now is something I cannot give you, for it is something you must attain alone.  
  
I hold you higher than anyone else and that is truth. But your own doubt consumes you.  
  
I can only hold you in my arms and keep the dark away. Ican only hope you see me for what I am.  
  
I am only a man in love with you.  
  
I am only a man willing to sacrifice his life to keep you safe.  
  
I am only a man willing to give everything he has up to be with you, and only you.  
  
Listen to your heart, love, and hear me speaking the truth.  
  
Open your eyes, love, to see me loving you, cherishing you.  
  
Stay in my arms, love, for I will not leave you alone.  
  
Reach out, love, and I will be there.  
  
'Til the day I die.  
  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
He took her hand.  
  
"With all my heart, Tomoyo. With all my heart."  
  
--End I: "Niji" 


End file.
